Our findings may seem puzzling: why do individuals feel lonely when they have good relationships with partners, family, and friends (the most significant persons)? The answer may lie in our evolutionary past. Humans are a social species that seemingly evolved in small units of individuals who knew each other well. Union between the members was essential for survival, and feelings of loneliness likely evolved as a response to a lack of social connection, as that meant that survival was at risk. However, connection between members of such small groups was not enough; from early times, survival likelihood was increased by establishing progressively larger networks of social connections with other groups, to a point that it became difficult to have close relationships with all members. As a result, if the connection with the larger group is not felt, feelings of loneliness ensue, regardless of the existence of good personal relationships.
It is likely that the confidence in the connection with a large group of individuals is prompted by social gatherings, such as music festivals, nightclubs, and sports matches, among other public events. In this context, social media seem very promising as a way of gathering a large number of people without actually having to go anywhere. However, if one depends on social media to satisfy desires for social connection with wider groups, and online interactions bring disappointment, loneliness ensues, even when relationships with the most significant people in our lives are deeply satisfying.
All of this draws attention to possible interventions to reduce loneliness; for example, by monitoring feelings of social frustration, and reducing or stopping the online activities that are causing them. In fact, previous research suggests that reducing use of social media is particularly beneficial for people with envy triggered by what others post. Yet, it is unlikely that this type of intervention is effective unless other social activities are pursued. As such, encouragement of social activities, especially offline, seems important. Interestingly enough, recent research suggests that moments of positive solitude (being alone and feeling well) might also counteract loneliness, as a lack of such moments appears to be related to loneliness, regardless of satisfaction with personal relationships.